Halloween Reveler Pillows

"Isn't that cheating?"

'He likes to power nap.'

Christmas Tree

'One eye of newt or two?'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Theorbo

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

Joust Sharpener

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Trick or Tweet

Santa does a keg stand.

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Punkins

Zombie pet tricks.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

THUMBS UP FOR THE NEW YEAR!

The New Year's Dance

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

A witch tries on new styles of hats.

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."