Halloween Festivities Gifts

"Which one is good for drinking beer in??"

"Neither of us are dentists." "True, but we're saving a fortune on candy." "They probably give out healthy stuff." "Let's go next door."

'My bag had a hole in it so I ate all my candy.'

'Trick or treat!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Zombie standup

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Love at First Sight

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Swinging on a star.

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Here we are."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

A Guide to Balloon Animals

'He likes to power nap.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."