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"No, I'm Frank Bernstein. The guy you want lives in the old castle down the street"

Macaroni and Cheese Witch

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Transylvanian backpackers.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'He likes to power nap.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'One eye of newt or two?'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Night of the Zombonies.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Dead Funny

"Home depot."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I was almost that last year."

Chiller Theatre

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

'Trickle or Spray!?'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I said slime."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

Broomstick crash.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

Zombies.

Woodpecker carving pumpkins