Halloween 2020 Historian Gifts

"That's the best I can do."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Zombie standup

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Love at First Sight

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Swinging on a star.

"Here we are."

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

'He likes to power nap.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO