Hairless Hoper Mugs

"Ambitions... To have a bad hair day."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Today's special... donuts.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

Nature Lovers

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'You've had enough!'

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

'The fed lowered interest rates today for everybody with hair...'

"Say, why don't we go see the Hopper show at the Whitney?"

'Let me know if the fan bothers you...'

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

"I see so much better after cataract surgery and....wow, you're bald!"

Not Such Disagreeable Weather for the Haymakers as Some People Think.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"My god, those capers are huge!"

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

Free Wifi

'Coffee overload.'

"Jewish people go out for Chinese food, but do you ever see Chinese people going out for Jewish food?"

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

Next Coffee Shop 4M

Barista

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'