Haggling Hero Pillows

"How much if I pedal?"

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Dad, for Father's Day, I'm giving you $100."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

Wisconsin's War on Unions!

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

One Man Band

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

"Apart from the NDA, we have another option before signing a contract."

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'I don't mind hand-me-downs. I just wish my brother had played football.'

"All the government wants to do is push our buttons!"

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

"We were finally able to take out enough extras to get the car within your budget."

Some Tough Free-Agent Contract Negotiations Currently Under Way

Yard sale sign states: Profits Go 4 Gas.

"But I might be interested. How much are you asking?"

'The child's seat is worth more than the car.'

'Are you sure you want to bargain with him?'

'You say that if you sell me it for £50 you'll be giving £100. In that case give £50 and keep it!'

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

"I've been talking to my friend Billy, and he reckons you've been under paying me in pocket money for years!"

"...And management said it was their final offer and if I didn't like it, I could go to hell! So, here I am!"

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

'It even has tiny for sale signs on the windows.'

"So where have you been?"