H.m.s. Pinafore Admirer T-Shirts

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

The Death Of Venus

Sistine Selfie

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

Professor Tulp meets his match

Watching Sea Life.

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

Life and Death

Football

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

'Oi! You threw that on Porpoise!'

Now hiring.

Flying in Formation.

Museum. It's a shame life isn't like European history with a renaissance following middle ages! (Published originally on May 26, 2013.)

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'This kind of thing will never take off.'

Hans Holbein

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'IQ shortage, help wanted.'

Left Behind