Gym Receptionist Pillows

"I usually can't tell identical twins apart, but I think I can tell which one of you is already a member of our fitness center."

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

Gym office in-out trays: Scrawny Brawny.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'You know too much,'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"We're exclusively delts."

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Sorry, that's not my table."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"Useless information"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."