Gym-goer Giggler Pillows

'I always lose weight in the wrong places.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"We're exclusively delts."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Still Life With Nordic Track

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Keep Fit.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

How to go form fit to fat...

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'

'Checkmate!'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

Treadmillstone

No caption (A lumberjack runs on a rolling log in a machine built like a treadmill).