Gunslinging Pillows

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Nobody dared to cross the stranger with a big iron on his hip."

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

'No, I haven't seen any South American killer bees.'

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

"...shoots himself in the foot"

Gun-throwing duel.

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

"Yep, we sure shoulda heeded that sign."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Doughnut Making

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Wild West Text Showdown

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Not at all O.K. Corral

"Ain't nobody gonna end a meeting faster than me."

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"This town isn't big enough for the two of us."

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'