Gun Comedy Lover Gifts

"I assume sir would like a room with a window."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

Texas Dashboard Organizer

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'Did he say anything before he died?'

"Better idea! Let's obstruct traffic in the guy's neighborhood and make his morning commute difficult!"

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

Zombie scout issues

'So I finally got cable.'

"You're gettin' too big for your dang britches."

Not at all O.K. Corral

'So much for the sheriff who was going to clean up our town.'

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

Joke Shop.

"You didn't shake out your boot."

'I robbed the bank because you can't win if you don't play!'

'I say, are you fellows going to be long?'

"I'm just going to step into the bank to get some money for dinner."

'Well, yes, I guess so; the Warmington AR-20 could drop a man at 500 metres.'

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

"I'll teach you to muscle in on my business- it's a concrete undercoat for you."

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'Looks like he landed sunny side up.'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)