Gummy Bear Gourmet Gifts

'Shot twice and left for dead. Not really, but it sounds better than ‘choked on a gummy bear.''

The wonderful world of cheese.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

A heart shaped cake

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Vegetarian Birds

His Her Cakes

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"I might just get a pie."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

Just one more choccy...