Gum Care Guru Mugs

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

The adoration of the gels.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Too much concealer?"

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Be creative...!"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year