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"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

"For this next tune, I'm gonna need a little help from you guys!"

Jonny B Goode fails his first audition "You know, you play that guitar just like you're ringing a bell! Trouble is we need someone who plays like they're playing a guitar!"

Songs About Artificial Intelligence

"This next piece is an intimate number I'd like to share with you one-on-one."

What Harold's guitar lacked in range, it made up for in payability.

"Don't you want somebody to blame?"

Willie Nelson has played the same guitar for 50 years!

"Can I return this? The strings keep breaking."

"C'mon you bluuues..."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Lennon and McCartney.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

A Fairytale Update

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Can our software do that?'

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

ZZZZZZZ Top

"This next one's another oldie."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

'What rhymes with D minus?'

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

The Modern Novel.