Guilty Conscience Reflector T-Shirts

"I looked at a woman's bottom after laughing at an ironic racism joke, then I got into an argument with a guy about his religion. When I got home my dog looked at me as if I was Hitler!!..."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"I'm a monster."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

Doubt or Certainy

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Well, whenever I lose MY sense of identity, I Google myself.

First I asked myself, "Why did I cross the road?" Then I asked, "Why did I hop on that train?" Then It was, "Why did I buy this suit?" And now I'm like, "Why didn't I fire this guy a long time ago?"

'I think my inner child needs a spanking.'

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

That gut! Why can't I lay off the nuts?? I fly funny. I really do. My voice is so annoying. Self-mockingbird.

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"What did you swallow" - "My pride"

"It's 2 A.M. Do you know where your p***s is?"

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

"And this deep-seated delusion that you're basically a good person... did that start in childhood?"

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"I've got my Facebook, Instagram, TikTok accounts, but where is the real me?"

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.'

"I'm overbearing, conceited and obsessed with status."