Guilt-free Snacker Pillows

"Fascinating. The rats choose chocolate nine times out of ten, but they always feel guilty about it later."

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Chocs away.

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Works every time."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"You'll never lose weight if you don't stop nibbling at your desk."

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Cookie Thief

The four major food groups.

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

"Put some spiritual food in there."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

Self Service, Self Denial

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

Supermarket Aisles.

"First the good news, there's no longer any point in you eating broccoli."

Recipes from the Revised Senior Citizen Cookbook

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

"The only thing healthy in this corporate culture is the yogurt in that snack machine."