Guidance Adventurer Pillows

At the Museum

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Man propelled by love

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Halo Frisbee.

"Show off."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."