Guestbook Collector Pillows

"Why don't you just sign for both of us."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Rare Books

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flyfishing for dummies.

Sue the Author 3PM

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sock Puppet in Literature

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

The Shrinking Dollar.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'