Guestbook Collector Pillows

"Why don't you just sign for both of us."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Rare Books

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flyfishing for dummies.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

The Shrinking Dollar.

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Do it yourself books.

Sue the Author 3PM