Guardian Angel Ponderer Gifts

"I wonder if I should tell him he's a transvestite!?"

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake... Well, that would be pretty rotten thing to do, God, seeing as I'm only eight years old."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Policeman talking to lost child

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Your angel is always with you

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"I've been recalled, the defibrillator just kicked in."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

This looks unusual, but these things have a mind of their own.

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

"It's okay, you can go home. You know, this guys is a CEO."

Guardian Angels and Operations

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

"Do you have other references? We feel your guardian angel would be biased in your favor."

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."

'No, I'm not an angel of mercy. I'm your guardian angel. And apparently not a very good one.'

"Try twenty-three left."

"Somehow I thought we'd be done with all that."

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

Bored Angels: 'Now what?'

Always look for your angel.

"It was much nicer before people started storing all their personal information in the cloud."

"I'm your guardian angel, I can't mind my own business."

'Can I be someone else's Guardian Angel? The guy's a bleeder.'

Notice in Heaven: 'Please switch off mobiles.'

'You realise this isn't a sure thing? You're up here on a one-hundred billion year trial.'