Grumpy Wisdom Seeker T-Shirts

'Growing old is like being continually punished for a crime you never committed...'

"Feel free to take notes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'You must heal yourself.'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"