Grumpy Traveler Pillows

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Airplane Mode.

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Grumpy Old Men

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Sunnyside down.'

"Well, would you look at that. . . it's been below zero for two weeks back home."

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'No.'

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"No more cross buns for you!"

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

Intelligent Navigation Device...

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"Why don't we just stay by this rock and take day trips around the local area?

"I tho tired."

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

"Your call is important to us, please hold on for the next available echo."

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

A Christmas Carl.

"The 9.23 train is cancelled...new timetables will be arriving at 9.46, 10.15 and 11.07."

"I'd tell you all about the upcoming election, but I don't want to depress you."

"Mr Jones is getting increasingly frustrated with the attitude of airlines"