Grumpy Millionaire T-Shirts

"'Ere! I've been readin' about you in the paper. Winnin' £10 million's made you sad, lonely an' bitter!"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"You have a certain kind of charm, haven't you, Mr. Beadle? Well, that's all right. I'm not totally opposed to charm."

Grumpy Old Men

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Sunnyside down.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'FQ...?'

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Pissed-off hour.

"No more cross buns for you!"

Moan Pig.

'The problem with politics is politicians!'