Grumpy Storyteller T-Shirts

"He died at the end. There. I've spoiled every story every written."

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'FQ...?'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

Moan Pig.

Pissed-off hour.

"Everything okay, Wilson?"