Growth Spurts Fan Gifts

"We used to keep in in a hamster cage. But then he went through a growth spurt."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Dear, will you sprint down to the store and get a box of wheat germ and a pint of yoghurt?"

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

"I called you my little succulent because you're low maintenance."

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

'It's probably not a good sign to be listed in the organization chart underneath the office plants.'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

You're the first person who's ever actually stopped! Emu.

"Simpson, you promised you wouldn't tell anybody I turned down Bill Gates!"

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

The American Farmer: a vanishing breed.

Combined Harvester

'Of course I've grown! What am I? An elf?!'

Ecological electricity

'Danny has a magnetic personality...that's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door.'

Septic Fields Forever.

"He's grown a whole foot since the last time you saw him."

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

Genetically modify your own sweetcorn.

'Coniferous Rhinoceros.'

"Boy needs bigger tire."

Ideas that failed: E-Milk.com, Electronic Dairy Farming.

"Sure you think Farmer Brown is okay, but you don't have to put with his cold hands every morning!"

'Whoah, look! Jed's got new wheels!'