Group Activity Skeptic Gifts

'I'm sorry, but we simply can't allow you to graduate. Your coursework is complete, and your grades are exemplary, but you apparently failed to attend the group icebreakers during freshman orientation week... which as you know, were mandatory.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"The unlucky lemming"

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Meeting in Progress.

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

Group hug.

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

"Why in the world do they call this approach 'cooperative learning'?"

"What do you want to be when you give up?"