Grooming Sage Pillows

Young boy talking about shaving

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Absolutely not!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Movember

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Nice haircut."

The Cat Spa

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'