Grooming Giggler Pillows

'I thought it was a coffee morning.'

The Busy Gardener

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Bathing the dog

"Be creative...!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"Absolutely not!"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Dogs shaving

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Too much concealer?"