Grocery Store Gymnast Pillows

Die-hard soccer moms.

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"I see you've brought your own bag."

"Junior just kept saying 'add to cart...add to cart...'."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

Free Range / Deranged

'Help wanted: Various positions available'

New: imitation spaghetti - Impasta.

'Just bag the groceries kid.'

Bobsleigh practice.

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

On that fateful visit to the supermarket, it was Tongue's misstep that would lead to a fall, a lawsuit, and an eventual catch-phrase.

Man and dog role reversal

'There's room for one up top.'

'Well isn't it ironic that we come all this way for fresh meat, and only stuff we find is deep-frozen?'

Trolley Cage

"Hey girl, why the clown suit?"

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

"Head office told our boss to speed up the checkout process...but he misinterpreted and sped up the conveyor belt instead."

"I've got a teenage son!"

'Where do you keep the bait, er, uh, I mean, bird seed?'

'Are you over 18 stone?'

"Wake up Mrs. Jones. You're sleep shopping again."

"My milk is gonna spoil if I stand here any longer."

"Don't look left or right!"

"I'd like to get this...but we're going to pass on pig's feet this week."

Don't be a jerk, Bob – Take the cart back to the corral.

Trolley Rage.