Grocery Glamour T-Shirts

"It makes me feel better about myself."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Stand back - while I whip something up

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

Venus Fly Trap

"Instead of string beans, can I get brains?"

"And then in Italy Paola's collection of canned tomatoes is unrivaled"

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

Stock photography

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"

'Those kids ate me out of house and home, but what really put me under were those dang dental bills.'

"Hold it, lady. You're not gonna use me on pizza, are you?"

"Bag for life?"

Vlad the Impaler - the Later Years

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

Produce. Corn on the cob. Corn on the lam.

'My New Year's resolution is to eat more fruits and vegetables.'