Grocery Comic Enthusiast Pillows

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Mouse shopping after hours

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

Low income vampires.

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

That was 16 items.

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

"You still use too much yeast in your bread!"

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

Woman has man in shopping trolley