Grill Maestro T-Shirts

A grand piano bbq

Counting ribs

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Steak Ted?'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Desert Island BBQ

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Filet minion

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

His New Grillfriend

Ode to a Grill

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"You like yours well done, right?"

Burnt or Raw?

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."