Grill Guru Wannabe Gifts

Family Barbecue

"How can you be out of wings?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Barbeque Casualty.

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"Come and get it!"

Licensed to grill.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

An angry barbecue.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

Funky Chef 2

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.