Grillmaster Wannabe Gifts

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Counting ribs

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Steak Ted?'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Desert Island BBQ

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Filet minion

His New Grillfriend

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Ode to a Grill

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"You like yours well done, right?"

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Burnt or Raw?

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'