Grievance Expert Pillows

"You haven't invited your boozy friends back I hope."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

Jaws 3 - The Litigation

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"Count them again. There can't be more trouble sports than there are countries."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

Walk the dog.

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'According to this load analysis, we're overweight by one hundred and fifty pounds. Any suggestions?'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Boss in front of angry mob: 'Put it in writing.'

'What do you mean 'how much longer am I going to keep you on hold' - I called you!'

'Sometimes, it's good to get a different perspective.'

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"The most worrisome part is they both work in the Dispute Resolution Department!"

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

'Something to sustain Sir's middle of the road rage.'

"What should we do today?"

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'