Greeting Etiquette Pillows

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

'Please don't call me Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers is my father. I'm Dr. Carruthers.'

"Mornin'."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Happy Easter

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

Cat Reunion

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Thank you bubbles

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

Looks like all your Facebook friends sent you holiday greetings cards.

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Conference Rooms - Cell phones being handed in.

"Yes, it's good to see you again too! But all I did was go to the mailbox!"

"New meeting rule: No looking at phones or playing with string."

"How about fashionably never?"

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Thanks For Not Firing Me Cards

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!