Greens Skeptic Gifts

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

The Amateur Golfer

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Way Too Genetically Engineered Chicken

Journalist in charge of gardening column has dead plant.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"So much for global warming!"

'Sermon - if he wanted us to eat genetically-modified food, h would have modified them himself.'

"It's only a game, according to my psychiatrist."

Paul Lawrie

March Against Monsanto Media Blackout!

Fred walks into a salad bar on the wrong side of the tracks.

"There's a rubber dinghy in front! Probably full of German economic refugees again..."

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'Oh yes, Miss Strict Vegetarian!'

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need to eat more greens.'

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

'Who wants another slice of Brussel Sprout...?'

Rush Linbaugh - Radio Commentator.

"And to my nephew Scott, bold denier of climate change, I bequeath my north shore bungalow."

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'An olive please. I need the greens.'

'I don't like bacon bits on my salad...'