Greens Skeptic Gifts

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

The Amateur Golfer

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Way Too Genetically Engineered Chicken

Journalist in charge of gardening column has dead plant.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"So much for global warming!"

'Sermon - if he wanted us to eat genetically-modified food, h would have modified them himself.'

"Being a vegan should be considered an extreme sport."

Fred walks into a salad bar on the wrong side of the tracks.

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need to eat more greens.'

'Who wants another slice of Brussel Sprout...?'

"There's a rubber dinghy in front! Probably full of German economic refugees again..."

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'Oh yes, Miss Strict Vegetarian!'

"It's only a game, according to my psychiatrist."

Rush Linbaugh - Radio Commentator.

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

March Against Monsanto Media Blackout!

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

"And to my nephew Scott, bold denier of climate change, I bequeath my north shore bungalow."

'I don't like bacon bits on my salad...'

'I haven't played here for eight months.' - 'You won't recognize the course now it's almost healed up.'

'An olive please. I need the greens.'