Green Thumb's Chauffeur Gifts

"Dad, do we help the environment by turning off our lights?"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'Is it organic?'

Getting Rid of the Cure

urban agriculture

Car towing a caravan and a greenhouse.

'Dad has lamb's-quarter, pigweed, sheep sorrel, chickweed and buckhorn, and we can't even have a dog.'

'Gotta hang up now. My mom wants to recycle the phone.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Vegicurious

In the houseplant cemetery.

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"That is why you never forget your roots."

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Honey, don't forget to water the plants!'

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

'Two thousand seedlings - and I can't bring myself to throw any of them out.'

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

A Gardener's Self-Portrait

"What did it say on the seed packet?"

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

'This one here would probably be best for you; It prefers partial shade, needs little water and grows best in esoteric single-panel cartoons.'

'Fancy a night on the tiles, Ivy?'

'Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

Flowers' AGM.

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

'Pssst...hey, buddy, I got the good stuff for all your urban farming needs!'