Green Thumb Realist T-Shirts

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Doing the borders.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Allotment

Gardener

"First time pruning?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Horti-Culture

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Garden Goddess.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Garden.

Eco Princess

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Award Winning Gardener

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'That plant food really works!'