Green Thumb Realist T-Shirts

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

Allotment

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Doing the borders.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Horti-Culture

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Garden Goddess.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Garden.

Eco Princess

Award Winning Gardener

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

An old man growing berries

Greenfingers.

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

The Garden

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.