Green Tea Guru Gifts

What They Believe In

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

The Environmentalist

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Doing the borders.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

But is it organic?

Gardener

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Horti-Culture

Garden Goddess.

Garden.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Award Winning Gardener

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Eco Princess

An old man growing berries

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

Food waste with recycling symbol

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."