Green Gastronomy Guru Prints

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

The Environmentalist

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

But is it organic?

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Cheese

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."