Green Footprint Enthusiast Pillows

'We have a new line of eco-friendly shoes. They're designed to reduce your global footprint!'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Nature versus commerce.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

'I admire your floatibility.'

God's Subcontractors

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Climate Change

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

Trees playing rootsie.

"Sorry, Edmund, but this is going to be a paper-free office."

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Plant Parenthood...

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Satellite Discovers Sell-by-Date on Planet Earth