Carbon Footprint Fanatic Pillows

"This crime has been offset by all the other crimes I didn't commit last year."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"What about my footprint?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Electric car

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

Methane Emissions

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

Each of you attending this climate conference will receive a copy of my 9,000-page study on how e-mail has saved millions of trees.

'Surely the most environment-friendly holiday is staying at home.'

Global Warming.

'We have a new line of eco-friendly shoes. They're designed to reduce your global footprint!'

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

A brilliant scientist, yet for some reason, Bert had never attended a carbon footprint conference...?

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

'Look, a cloud from when the climate still worked properly'

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

'Central Office thinks you've taken the fight for the green vote too far.'

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

'I'm from China!'

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'

'If the sky fell in... would it let the global warming out?'

Eco Town 5 miles ahead.

'Seen Al Gore lately?'

"Did you take part in the climate change march?"

Petrol for Regular and Large cars.

"There are so many delegates wanting to come to our 'Climate Change' conference that we've had to lay on extra planes!"