Green Cuisine Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Civilized Salmon

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Stuffing the turkey.

Recycling bottle bank.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

The Authentic Christmas.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"We're making progress."

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

'It's farm-to-table-to-farm dining.'

'First they shoot at us, then they try to fly like us, now they want to steal our lunch.'

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

World Meat Consumptiom

"No dolphins where harmed in the preparation of this Tuna sandwich."

"Hybrid-battery cows might reduce our methane gas emissions...but good luck trying to get a decent filet mignon out of them."