Greco-roman Guru Mugs

"Feel my claw of death!"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Edgar Allen Poe

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'But what is the universe for?'

Muscles

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Exercise Class

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

The trim reaper

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'What are you eating now?'

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

Punkins

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'