Great Dane Admirer Pillows

'He wants to put his bones in safekeeping.'

'I like their lollipops. If we ever get any money, we ought to open an account here.'

'He does lack social skills.'

'The problem is his 'will to' is greater than my 'will not'.'

'I thought you said you bought a great dane.'

'You have the right to remain silent.'

'Watch out for that one. He has sticky paws.'

'You'd be surprised how far he can stretch.'

'No! You are not going door-to-door to borrow a dish of dog food.'

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

'We should have named him 'Bill,' looking at what we have to buy each week.'

'Is it just me, or is it getting warm in here?'

'Marmaduke will perform that trick no matter how small the audience.'

'I guess you don't recognize me out of uniform. I work for Animal Control.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"He was a very good boy."

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

Cupcake Excitement Scale

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

"We should get out to the country more often."

Fifty Shades of Gray

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Flea Philosophy.

Good, but not Great Danes.

Hyenas as Pets

"Wow, these are good!"

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

Guide Dogs

'The good news is it's not bird flu.'