Great Dane Admirers Pillows

'Marmaduke understands it differently than most dogs when you tell him to 'stay'.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"He was a very good boy."

'He does lack social skills.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Please keep in mind this is only a 'ruff' copy.'

I'm sure it's fake.

Fifty Shades of Gray

"We should get out to the country more often."

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

Flea Philosophy.

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Hyenas as Pets

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

"Wow, these are good!"

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

'The good news is it's not bird flu.'

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

'I like their lollipops. If we ever get any money, we ought to open an account here.'

Butch didn't mark his territory like other dogs.

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

"Damn, she's good."

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'