Great Communicator Gifts

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

Time for speeches

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

Communication

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

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