Graph Analysis Gifts

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

Sales.

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

Business/Pleasure charts.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Fear/Knowledge

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

Reading my Critics

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."