Grape-gobbler Enthusiast T-Shirts

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Wine tasting

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"