Grape Adventurer T-Shirts

"I mixed the California wine with the New York wine for a truly American experience."

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

I think you're ace

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

GMOs: The Next Generation

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Holiday Supplies

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Who's the new guy?'

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Listen up troop. We're going on a treasure hunt.'

Wine tasting

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."